& circles never end

come join me in the theatre of my dreams. so fleeting, so unpredicatable.

maths then, to ground me a little.

back from OAL chalet.

anytime you want a group of the most mixed group to bond, easy.
throw them together to do everything; proposals, scolding, being scolded, being lectured, packing company, housekeeping and god knows what else.

Instructors are the best (: and only those who were calculating money matters shall know why (:


thank god I was ever an instructor. and no matter what lies ahead, I'll look back on these moments and smile (:

half dead from flu, fever is setting in as well.


heh, consequence of two back to back camps :) well worth the price I think, if I look back on this after my nose reaches the finish line of its marathon,

but for now, sheesh!

OAL chalet tomorrow after churchies @ marina barrage :)
supper, sunrise! and the old crowd :))



"falling" to be met with silence.

because I didnt want it this way.

focus on debate then. to take the leading edge of the headache that has nothing to do with physical.

argh

sometimes I wonder why people dont have common decency.
young kids and older ones alike. like, when you're wrong, apologise. when you're angry, just freaking open your mouth and say it. when you have nothing better to say and there is only stupid offending nonsense, then wth, just shut the mouth.

seriously.

I have my principles. no apology? then it's there. call me a petty child, that's just who I am.




back from camp, but I shall post about it another day :)

xiao lao shi, wan sui!

happy 15th mirna! :)

for being a bouncing thing that rockets all over the place, for listening to me all the time, no matter if it is to whine to laugh to bitch to complain or to play :) for all the ppmacs where you and arch zoooom off to your own world and be so high, for your happy smile that makes me happy too :)

haha. and so coals is over. on a random note, my feet are swollen and hurting, my lower back hurts ( from carrying stores), my neck hurts ( from balancing bags, hint min!), my arms hurts ( I dont know why) & my head is light headed ( lack of sleep?).

but this journey was great. and I take secret joy in the pains, because it means that coals wasnt a dream, :] ( No, I am not such a sadist.)


to echo 2008 instructors (shalom, zhihui):
and there, we did it. I did my best, fufiled our vow this time last year. and I hope you guys did to :) I taught echo 2009 our echo power on the last day of camp, but we didnt get to take a proper picture :) I'll still see you guys around in school, since our classrooms should still be next to, or near each other.

I walked this journey with echo 2009 thinking of the times we had, and I remember everything, every funny moment :) apples and juice, and echo's wooden ring was always in my pouch :)

we did our leaders proud. arent you proud to?

to echo 2009, my dearest campers
(Beatrice, Florence, Nadiah, Natasha, Shamittaa, Julia, Humairah, Shannon, Suyi, Rabiatul, Cara):
since I've also been a camper once, I knowww that somehow you guys will read this :)

I'm really sorry that you guys didnt get to do high elements or the rockwall because of the weather :( I know it's a highlight of coals camp, and for both days to let you guys stay indoors within a rather crowded canteen wasnt exactly comparable to being out there having fun. but I think, that for you guys, it's these times spent indoors that you guys bonded, not only within yourselves, but also with falcon and delta. Falchota! :) I hope you guys really enjoyed the games we thought up on the spot for you guys to play, because judging from the noise level, it seems like you did!

it's been great being your instructor. and though it seems that we've been the ones teaching you guys, trust me when I say that we've also learnt alot by watching you guys. keep it up, because all of you really have more than you think :)

you guys won the best group award for this year coals camp, but regardless, even if you didnt receive that, you guys would still have been the best group to me :)

continue to grow, and as we've said before, our goal for you guys is for you guys to being at least one thing away from this camp that you can use in your life, and I think all of you have it :)

because we, alex, myself and xinyun, we're proud of what you guys have accomplished :) to the individuals, I've already said what I wanted to say :)

Thank you Echo, for being the best group and for all the wonderful moments that you gave me :)



to echo attached instructors( alex, xinyun):
hey you two! loveeee you guys sooo sooo soooooo sooooooooo much :) thank you for being there, for all the sweet messages and the msn convos, for the times we whack each other silly over dumb stuff, throw all our faces infront of echo. for being high with me, for talking to me, for listening to me, for sentry, for meal times when I have to disappear :)

for everything and everything, because the two of you were really my pillar of support for this camp :) I dont know if I would be able to get through this without the two of you beside me.

our echo has grown. no longer are they our little yellow chicks :) some of them will become instructors, and I hope that we've given them beautiful memories and inspired them and made an impact on them, like what we wanted to :)

echoinstructors outing soon yupoz! more will come in the letters I shall be writing soon! since I dont want EVERYONE to read it! :))

to kitchen dept! ( racho, samo):
haha, and we did it!

after the scoldings, the shopping, the planning, being down together, being high together, looking for missing messtins, missing cutleries, then discover some idiot camper didnt take it out before handing us her messtin, for rewashing stinko messtins, for guarding the food from monkeys, from the HOW NOW?! :)

gosh, and we did it! even though ODC was semi screwed, but it was a team effort :)

the end is here, and suddenly I miss you two so so so much :( the kitchen was our domain :) scrub and clean and serve and midnight suppers from teacher's leftovers, for dropping off to sleep while counting messtins :)

We Did It :) lurb you two many much :) kitchen outing soon too yup! and many pictures since we didnt get any during camp! :(

<3! I owe you two something! and you two owe me something too! must spend kitchen time during chalet yupo!

to the OAL board:
haha, instructors! we did it!!

we survived, and we did it! the moanings and groanings, the lack of sleep, the antics of campers! we did it!
we completed our own camp, no major caulties, no major difficulties. and we've bonded beyond thoughts.

I'm proud to call myself an instructor, because of you guys (:

COALs is over. just like that, almost a year of planning for three days and two nights. the mark of the end of my journey with echo2009.
Campfire night was last night. admist the rather amusing antics of leaders, they were the ones playing one of the biggest parts in moulding us. I'm so tired I could sleep typing, but no I havent showered, havent unpacked.


I wouldnt exchange anything for the panic, the scoldings, the wth-s, the omg-s, the wl-s.

no, there are many priceless things in this world, and one of them will be coals, and this journey.



if there was one things I could hold to my heart and not disappoint myself. if there was one thing I did right this time, I think it was echo.


hey echo, <3 you guys lots :)

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

about summarise my feelings for coals2009. it's going to hurt on that night. camp starts in 2days, urgency in everything we do now. last minute decisions, panickings.

until that night then, shall banish it from my mind, but it'll remain at the back.

ah.

sometimes I'm honestly surprised and amused at the way you dont seem to understand what a fake you are.

the day you take off your mask, then maybe you'll see that there are more things to be actually happy about. because when it boils down, you arent truly that miserable afterall, are you?
oh, but I forgot, you are the kind of person who studies two days before a major exam and goes around telling people you really worked hard for the paper arent you?

if you worked hard, I'm a frigging mugger.


you're a walking example of irony. truly annoying arent you?

the drink I hate most, absolutely, is ginseng powder in hot water. double yucko.


today morning was seriously screwed. I wanted to type some obscenities, but ohwell forget it. not worth me blowing my top, but gosh there is really a limit to my patience.

went back to school to meet the other instructors, confirm stores. instructors had mass breakfast at macs. heh! failed session of camwhoring on the bus there, epic.

am exhuasted. ah. kept falling asleep on the couch at cell. I need more sleep!

my head's throbbing, waiting for something dumb to finish loading then I can head to bed. I'm becoming a pig, my body's trying to make up for the lack of sleep I swear.

and I was happy today with echo :) everything's done, or almost done.

I miss the times when echo2008 sat at the stage area. cant believe we honestly spent so long on that stupid flag, who has it now? I miss those times so much :) I remember trying out three different methods for bases. and using almost every possible kind of glue for one of the methods.

I shall drag people to pp spiderweb with me one day. it's the only constant in my cedar journey now. :)

for almost the past two weeks, every day, consequtively, I've been in school. what holidays? are you speaking greek? 

( yet to start any of my homework, yucks)

mindchamps was, amusing. utterly utterly so :) love the instructors and their highness, I should totally join them when I graduate! who knew you could make a living out of being high and nonsensical!

but yup, learnt things, and if it rain during coals, the mindchamps people will have absolutely no problem figuring out what to do yup! interesting two days, 18 hours, albeit it being a little long :)
 

dragon boating today! haha, utter amusement! instructorssssss boat!
"YOU SPRAY ME SOMEMORE, NO MORE SHOWER TIME! "
"YOUR SPRAY WHAT SPRAY! MORE KNOTS AND LASHINGS!! "

HAHA, not like the campers bothered, instructors boat didnt flip from too much water is a miracle! bail water bail!

"paddles up!"
" BOOMZ!"

our call for synchro was O, A, I, O, A, I! hilarious, campers boat see us coming, all ready to launch water!

me, mirna, archana and xinyun got wet the most. some annoyance of an annoying annoyance emptied the entire pail on my head! hahah, I cant remember who now, ( actually I can, but..) great fun. so if you want to get wet, sit behind!

" INSTRUCTORS CANNOT LOSE!" but I think we lost to boat 5 once. gah, note their names! NO SHOWER TIME FOR THEM, HEH :)

lunched at KFC after.. stupid esther and stupid shumin chased MY echo away! while me alex and xy were happily sitting at the next table. heh, crash here, crash there. amusement!

meanwhile, I swear windows movie editter is soooooooooo, grrr. but haha, FOR ...!!

because I know you were never mine. and it's selfish to think that way. I'm not her.

and that,
is my only lifeline through this turbulence.



walk me through this, Lord. you promised, footprints in the sand. give me a rainbow, show me that hope exists. I'm utterly lost. I dont know how to move from here.

" I wanted to cry, but I laughed instead. and I've been laughing ever since" how true.

you make it hard to laugh because you make it hard to breathe.

the yous are getting confused. the mind flits from one to the other.

tears wont flow. I'm stronger than you think, no you wont break me.
I'll take today, I'll take every moment I have. I wont regret the things I do, the words I say. because every moment will make me who I am, will make me stronger.

beggars dont choose.

I will laugh, tomorrow will be the same. I wont let you see anything from my face. but how long more do you want to lie to me? dear, do you know I am talking about you. talking to you hurts me. because you know the right places to hit. it hurts, it really does.

it's getting harder to laugh. but laugh I will, all the same.

I get utterly annoyed at people who have straws for brains, or dont attempt to use abit of common sense when looking at everyday simplistic problems.

argh.

I've changed alot since the start of this year.




you know I feel so betrayed by you.

but you would think I would know by now, no?

because that hurts.

" today was the last day of sch but felt like a funeral for 3S. the mood was like a dead man's heartbeat. but we're all in this tgt. we can do it one. i know we can. we're sposed to be the best double science class, and have the same L1R5 as 3H and i know we can do it if we mug like criminals during the hols. our philosophy: rather play all year and mug for two months than mug the whole year and play for two months." - lee's blog


a rather accurate and succint summary! heh. gosh I just realized my holidays arent very holiday-y afterall!  you know, even mugging takes up time yup?

heh, back to munching!